


A Tangled Web

by llmarmalade



Category: Hunger Games Series - All Media Types, Hunger Games Trilogy - Suzanne Collins, The Hunger Games (Movies)
Genre: Demisexuality, F/M, Homophobic Language, Non-Consensual Touching
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-04-07
Updated: 2018-04-07
Packaged: 2019-04-19 13:24:20
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Rape/Non-Con
Chapters: 2
Words: 12,987
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/14238231
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/llmarmalade/pseuds/llmarmalade
Summary: When Prim becomes pregnant Katniss decides to step in and pretend the baby is hers. In order to prevent her from being sent to the Community House Peeta offers to marry her and raise Prim's baby as theirs. When the truth comes out Katniss must face the deadly consequences of her lie.





	1. Part 1

**Author's Note:**

> Based off of the Prompt: “See, this is why no one lets you make the plans.” Pregnant, unwed, underage Prim will be punished unless Katniss hides the pregnancy, pretends baby is hers. Caught and tangling others into deception, Katniss agrees to another plan: marry Peeta, pretend it’s his so Prim can move on with her life. But then Rye forfeits bakery, claims child, wants to marry Prim. Only way to keep up lies and to let Prim have her own baby now is for Katniss to get pregnant, too, because of strict antiabortion laws. [submitted by Anonymous]  
> Thanks to Ryrous for betaing this story. You took my hot mess of a story and made it better. Thanks to Anonymous for submitting this prompt. It was a lot of fun to write. Note that Peeta is the oldest sibling in my story and Rye is the youngest. I thought a teenage Prim being with a boy 6 years older would be majorly creepy. There are no games in this story but Panem is still a really terrible place to live because 13 is in charge. So 13 and the Capitol will be used interchangeably. The people of 13 moved into the Capitol. Katniss is a little softer than in canon because she hasn’t had to face the Games and isn’t as afraid of children or marriage. I’ve been having a horrible time with the formatting so any weird errors are due to that.

“Prim, what’s wrong?”

Katniss watched her sister retch into the nearly bare flower bushes. Prim had been sick a lot in the last few weeks, and Katniss was concerned. Prim wasn’t running a fever but refused Katniss’s advice to talk to their mom.

Prim didn’t reply, and Katniss wiped her face with a damp cloth; then, she started sobbing. Katniss felt her heart sink. She wasn’t stupid. She knew exactly what was wrong with Prim. Prim, her sweet, innocent little sister, must be pregnant.

“I’m pregnant, Katniss,” Prim sobbed. Katniss felt her stomach flip as she thought about what would happen. Her little sister was just fifteen years old. In Panem births were strictly controlled, and unwed mothers were sent to a home where they were forced to live until their children turned eighteen. These Community House women and children often died of starvation and disease. But anyone over the age of fourteen could marry and have children. Those who did received tesserae grain and oil until their children turned eighteen or until they married. This was District 13’s strategy with dealing with the massive under-population after the revolution, nearly twenty-five years ago. 

“Who’s the father?” Katniss asked, trying to keep her voice gentle. She wondered if the answer would be Rory Hawthorne.

“I can’t tell you.” Prim whispered. “He’s a Merchant.” 

Katniss felt her stomach drop again. The Merchants had plenty of money, but none would ever marry a Seam girl, even if she looked like a Merchant herself. Prim was half Merchant, but that didn’t count to people in town. 

“I’ll deal with it. I promise you, Prim. I’ll deal with it.” 

Katniss helped Prim to bed and laid the worn blanket on her sister’s shoulder before slipping outside. She was desperate. How could she save Prim? 

She sat in the woods for hours until the idea came to her. She would raise the child as her own. Of course, the obvious problem was that Katniss was not married. Not even close to married. She had rejected marriage time and time again because she knew she needed to be there for Prim and because she didn’t want to end up like her mother– in love and unable to function. 

Even if Katniss had married Gale, it wouldn’t have mattered. No one would have believed that two dark haired, grey eyed people would produce a child looking so Merchant. Prim’s baby was sure to be blond haired and blue eyed or, at the very least, some combination of that. Besides, Katniss doubted Gale would go along with this elaborate plan. He would want his own kids. He was married now anyway, so it didn’t matter.

There was only one solution. Take in Prim’s child and move to the Community House. Live there raising Prim’s child until the baby was eighteen. Katniss felt tears prick her eyes as she thought about the kind of life she would live there. There was a chance she might not even survive. But it was worth it. Katniss was a survivor; she was strong enough to handle it. Prim was not. 

Katniss went back into the house and told Prim her plan. Prim listened in silence, looking more and more miserable by the moment. Then she said, “Katniss, you can’t. I made a mistake and I have to pay for it.”

“No. You’re my little sister. It’s my job to protect you. Besides I can handle this much better than you.” Katniss put on more bravado than she felt. 

“You can’t do this.” Prim pleaded. 

“Oh Katniss…” Katniss looked up to see her mother standing there. She must have overheard Prim talking. “You shouldn’t have to do this. Perhaps there are some herbs I can give you.”

Katniss knew what her mother was talking about. Herbs that caused a woman to lose a baby were strictly forbidden. If her mother was caught doing that, she could be killed. 

“No,” Prim clutched her stomach and shook her head. “I’m not killing my baby.”

Katniss didn’t think of it that way but she didn’t say anything. Instead she just stood up and said, “We need bread.”

She needed to say goodbye to her own life. To all the people she cared about. To start facing the way people would look at her. The insults and jeers she would get for daring to get pregnant. She needed to say goodbye to Peeta. She wouldn’t be able to go out much after this. In order for the deception to work she would have to stay in the house with Prim until Prim’s delivery. Then she could go outside with the baby. 

She had to say goodbye to Peeta. She couldn’t tell him the real reason, but he wouldn’t want anything more to do with her once he saw her with the baby. He had become her friend in the years since he had saved their lives by giving them bread. He was only two years older than her, but he was already nearly running the bakery. Despite his enviable job and good looks, Peeta hadn’t married. Perhaps his mother’s noticeably acid tongue and manners had made girls reluctant to marry him.

Katniss knocked on the kitchen door. She knew that Mrs. Mellark was already in bed, and Peeta’s father had died a few years before. Peeta’s bothers were rarely home. Leaven, who was Katniss’s age, went to the library and studied the dull books while Rye drank and went to the Slag Heap. 

“Katniss, it’s so good to see you.” Peeta’s voice had sounded enthusiastic before it died away at one look at her face. 

“I just wanted to say goodbye.” Katniss said softly.

“Goodbye? Are you moving?” Peeta looked distressed.

Katniss nodded, “To the Community Home.” She forced herself not to cry. For Prim. She reminded herself.

“You’re…” Peeta began. Katniss chose to nod. She felt nauseated with the deception, but it had to be done. She couldn’t look up to see the disapproval in his eyes. 

“Is it…” Peeta began. She knew of course what Peeta meant. People had always thought she and Gale would make a match of it. Now that she was supposed to be pregnant, people would immediately suspect him. Fortunately Prim’s baby wouldn’t resemble him in the least. Thank goodness she hadn’t been with Rory. 

“No,” she said softly. “It was a mistake. I drank too much…” That would be her story. It sounded credible. 

“You don’t drink.” Peeta commented as he handed her a cup of tea.

“No, not usually.” Katniss replied. She felt tears start to fall but she fought them back. She would not cry. 

“Katniss, you aren’t going to the Community Home. I’ll marry you myself and raise your child as my own.” He took her free hand and added, “I promise I won’t expect anything in return. I just want a chance to help you.”

Katniss blinked, positive that she was dreaming. Why on earth was Peeta proposing to her? She must be crazy. But his face was so earnest and kind that she realized that those words must have really come out of his mouth. Of course she couldn’t do it. She could never put him through that, but it was very kind of him, and she would never forget that. The kindness of him once again struck her. He seemed determined to keep saving her. It didn’t matter how many extra squirrels she gave him; she would always owe him.

“I can’t.” Katniss replied. She forced herself not to look into the beautiful blue eyes that stared at her from the other chair.

“You can. I promise I won’t expect anything from you except the work of a usual employee and the chance to be in your child’s life.”

“What’s in it for you?” Katniss replied bluntly. Nobody would do something like that for free. There had to be some hidden agenda. 

“ We could use some help with the bakery. I know you are a hard worker. And my mother hasn’t been well recently. .” Peeta replied. 

Katniss wondered why he didn’t ask some Merchant girl but she supposed that he was right. She was a hard worker. She didn’t know the last thing about baking but she knew how to clean and organize and might even manage some kind of accounting. She had always done well in math. It still didn’t make sense that he wanted to help her though. Peeta was just such a nice person that he was willing to sacrifice himself to help her. If she did accept his proposal it would take a lifetime of washing dishes to make up for it. 

“I also don’t it’s fair you have to be punished for one mistake.” Peeta continued. 

Katniss closed her eyes and said softly, “It wasn’t my mistake. I’m not really pregnant. Prim is. She’s only fifteen. She can’t go to the Community House. She won’t survive there. But I can. I’m strong enough..”

“Oh Katniss.” Peeta repeated the same words her mother said. Then she was shocked to find his arms wrapped about her and her head tucked up against his chin. It felt safe and comfortable to be in his arms. “Strong, brave, foolish, Katniss. That’s why nobody lets you make the plans.”

“What do you mean by that?” Katniss struggled out of his embrace and glared at him.

“Because your plan will destroy your life and mean your sister will never see her baby. My plan means your sister can see her baby on a daily basis. You will be allowed to live near your family, and no one will starve. Isn’t that a better option?”

Katniss hadn’t thought of that. She had been so focused on Prim’s problems she hadn’t considered anything else. But Peeta was right. His plan was better. Prim’s baby wouldn’t grow up a bastard but would have two respectably married parents. Prim would be allowed to be the doting aunt. Nobody would think anything of Prim taking care of the baby nearly constantly. And Prim could even move into the bakery for a few months to “take care” of Katniss. 

“But what about your mother?” Katniss asked. Mrs. Mellark could make her life a misery. 

“I’m not afraid of her. My father’s will gave me a quarter interest in the bakery, and unlike my brothers I don’t have to have mom’s approval.” Peeta spoke confidently, but Katniss knew that while Mrs. Mellark might not be able to legally kick him out, she could destroy Peeta. 

“I can’t let you do this. This is my responsibility.” Katniss pulled away again and tried to hold back the fear. The truth was that she was afraid. Afraid of the Community Home and how difficult it would be to survive without her hunting. She was afraid for the baby and of having to take care of it all by herself. She wouldn’t take care of the kid right.

“No, Katniss, it’s not your responsibility. You didn’t do any of this. I want to marry you and be an uncle to Prim’s baby.” 

Katniss couldn’t understand it. Why was he being so nice? If he just wanted a quick fling, he wouldn’t be marrying a girl like her. And while she wasn’t oblivious to the “responsibilities” she’d have once she got married, she didn’t think he would be unkind. Imagining him hurting her was impossible. It was far more likely that she would end up hurting him. 

“I need to talk to them.” Katniss stood there for a moment. “Thank you. For everything.” 

She wished that she hadn’t pulled away. It had been a long time since anyone had held her. No one had done so since her father, probably, but she couldn’t hug Peeta. Even if she might marry him soon.

Prim and her mother were predictably happy, and they immediately supported Peeta’s plan. Katniss felt a strange resentment of her mother grow over this. Her mother had always supported the route that would be easiest. The route that would ensure that no one would know that her daughter was unmarried and pregnant at fifteen. 

Prim’s reaction was even stranger. She looked so excited and pleased that for a moment Katniss had a terrible thought.

Was Peeta the father of Prim’s baby? The thought made her sick, but she supposed that it was possible. Prim was so pretty and sweet: vulnerable and tempting, for an older boy. “He’s not….You’re not saying…” Katniss stumbled over her words.

“Peeta? What? No, of course not. He’d never do that, and besides he’s crazy about you. That’s why I’m happy. You’ll be married to someone who simply adores you. He’s easy on the eyes too.” Prim sat up and gave Katniss a hug. 

It seemed to move so fast then. Mrs. Mellark was unsurprisingly displeased, but she put less effort into fighting the marriage than Katniss expected. Why was she so muted in her displeasure? Why did she seem almost relieved? Peeta really wasn’t old enough to be considered past marriageable age at all. Katniss put little preparation into her new life. She had few belongings and she never spent much time on her appearance. 

She saw Peeta a couple of times before the wedding to discuss things like the cake and to move her meager belongings over to his home. He offered her a wide range of cakes to sample but Katniss liked the orange one best. She had an orange once before her father’s death and it brought back pleasant memories. She tried to stop Peeta from making a cake since it was so expensive and it wasn’t like they were having a real marriage. Peeta wouldn’t listen to that plan and insisted that she would have a cake. Katniss noticed that he seemed burdened down by something and looked constantly exhausted. Was his mother causing him problems? Did the other Merchant families put pressure on him? 

The day before the wedding she went hunting. Long ago she’d used to go with her father; a little later, with Gale. But it had been two years since they had gone hunting together. Two years since his marriage. She missed him of course, but she found that she didn’t need him. Knowing the consequences, she couldn’t fathom feeling an emotion strong enough to make you do something like what Prim did. She guessed it was physical as well, but she suspected Prim had been genuinely in love with her lover. That’s why sometimes Prim cried herself to sleep. Katniss couldn’t understand that.

“I suppose I should congratulate you.” Gale came up just as silently as usual. His face was impassive, but he wasn’t storming around which she thought was a good sign. 

“Yes, I’m getting married.” Katniss replied. 

“What’s the rush? I wasn’t aware you were seeing someone.” Katniss nearly blurted out the truth but at the last moment simply shrugged. Gale was used to her strange gestures and silences. 

“Well, I guess you could do worse if he is a Townie.” Gale said. It was almost an ringing endorsement of Peeta. Katniss shrugged again but realized that sounded very cold. “He’s a good person. I like being with him.”

“Well, I guess that’s better than you two hating each other, like his parents did.” Katniss gave a slight smile. Peeta was a better person than she could ever deserve, and she was determined to do her best to make him happy. 

“Listen, I know that there is something screwy about this whole thing. I know I can’t really help you much, but if there is anything…” Gale touched her arm and stared at her sharply. She felt her face flush. She was hiding a lot, and she had never been a good liar. She poured out the whole story. Telling it seemed to make it worse. The prospect of living in the Community Home got more unpleasant. 

“It’s a good thing then.” Gale said. Katniss nodded.

“Peeta’s a much better man than I ever thought. There is no way I can ever repay him.” Katniss looked at her hands and felt the sense of hopeless debt pile up. 

“ I’m not fond of good people. It’s usually just being a hypocrite. Be careful, Katniss. I just don’t want you being taken advantage of.” 

“You mean like Cray does?” Katniss knew what the doctor did with his “patients” and examinations. 

“Yes, and no. I don’t think Peeta’s like that, but he’ll have expectations…” Gale trailed off at her deathlike glare.

“I’m not talking about this with you. And I’m not stupid. I know what marriage is. I can’t see how people would willing be owned and controlled, but that’s life. And it’s better than the Community Home.” Katniss stood up trying not to think about that. She supposed people must like sex, or people like Prim wouldn’t be in this position. Still, it seemed a dangerous and pointless activity. Hormones could be managed without endangering oneself. 

“Just be careful, ok.” Katniss gave a brief nod before disappearing into the woods towards the fence. 

Katniss’s mother seemed to think she had done her duty by explaining all about sex when Katniss turned sixteen. She had listened to her mother’s clinical speech before completely ignoring it. When her mother tried to broach the subject again, Katniss said, “I know enough, mother. I don’t need to be told that I need to think about the current population levels in Panem or how it really isn’t bad or how I might actually enjoy it.” 

Her mother flushed and said, “No, I guess you know that. I just…worry…”

“You don’t need to. I’ll be fine.” 

Prim was in bed when Katniss came in. Her mother was up adjusting the wedding dress Katniss was to wear. Katniss lay beside Prim and pressed a hand to her stomach. There was no movement; she was not far enough along, and her stomach only had a faint swell. Soon that baby would be—for all appearances sake— Katniss’s baby.

“Are you scared?” Prim asked. 

“No,” Katniss replied. She was, but she wouldn’t admit it.

“You don’t need to be. Peeta’s very nice and kind. Maybe he can even warm you up a bit.” Prim smiled mischievously at Katniss. Katniss frowned, trying to remind herself that the innocent little sister who didn’t know about sex was gone. Her sister in many ways had already experienced more in fifteen years than Katniss in nearly twenty.

“I don’t need warming up.” Katniss replied. 

“No, I know that underneath that scowl you actually are sweet. But I’m just saying that it’s nice. To be loved. To have someone to love you. To lie in bed next to someone.” Prim looked sad again. Katniss ached to take that away.

“Well, I guess it’s free body heat.” Katniss said sarcastically. She felt like Prim was on the verge of tears. Better to make her laugh.

“Hmmm…. And well, I’ve heard the Mellark men are well endowed.” Prim giggled and poked Katniss. “You’re so prudish. I swear you’re worse than Miss Burns.”

“English teacher Miss Burns?”

“Yeah.”

“I am not.” Katniss scowled, but Prim only laughed harder. 

“I don’t think Peeta would ever push you to do anything you didn’t want to do. The problem is the wanting. But you’ll be married, so it won’t matter.” Prim’s face grew serious. 

Katniss nodded as though she understood, even though she didn’t. She understood basic physical urges— like hunger— and even the more primal ones, but they were unconnected to any person or thing. Dealing with the occasional sexual impulse was as normal as eating, She was alone in the woods and there was no one there to know what she was doing. Dealing with her needs was easy. The craving for love, tenderness and passion made no sense in contrast. 

“You look beautiful.” Peeta commented as she stepped inside the Justice Building. She was wearing her mother’s blue dress. It was the blue dress, and not a white one, both because of the dangers of a white dress in the coal mining district and because she was supposed to be pregnant. 

The ceremony passed in a blur of formal language and paper signing. District 13 had few rituals when it came to marriage. The Capitol official read a long and dull speech about the importance of marriage and family that made her skin crawl. Things might have gotten better since the Hunger Games were abolished but that didn’t mean she thought the new government’s intrusiveness was acceptable. Katniss was vaguely aware that she was signing away her freedom. Her body, her money (not that she had any) and her property were not hers. She could only hope that the person she was marrying wouldn’t try to possess her. He was a kind person but Katniss didn’t trust people not to take advantage of her position. The idea of being owned by someone, even the nicest person in the world, didn’t sit well with her. 

There was a toasting of course. Katniss had spent a lot of time thinking up her speech. Finally she decided to keep it simple.

“Peeta, you have been the best man I ever met. I’m not good with speeches but…I’m grateful I met you.” Katniss knew the speech sounded incomplete, but she couldn’t imagine giving some fluffy speech about love. At least what she had said had been true. 

Peeta’s speech was simple but revealing. “Katniss, I remember the first time I saw you. It was the first day of school that year, and my dad pointed you out and said, ‘See that little girl. I wanted to marry her mother a long time ago, but she ran away with a coal miner.’ I couldn’t understand why that lady wouldn’t want to marry my dad, but he said that when that man sang ‘the birds stopped to listen.’ I didn’t believe him. Then that little girl stood up to sing the Valley Song, and I knew my dad was right. Because the birds did stop to listen. And I’ve been in love with her ever since.”

She was astonished. Her dad had had an incredible voice, and she vaguely remembered singing the Valley Song at a school assembly. But had Peeta really been in love with her since he was seven? Guilt surged through her. She didn’t deserve it. Then again she hadn’t asked him to fall in love with her at five year old. 

She glanced at his face and leaned in to give him a quick kiss. It was more of a peck than a kiss but he smiled at her as if she had given him the moon. She was afraid of falling for him. He was so kind to her and he seemed to radiate warmth and tenderness. What if it was all a ploy? What if he was trying to butter her up with kind words and gestures so she would fall into line with his plans? She had to be careful. 

They ate the beautiful cake, which was decorated with primroses and violets, while one of the old miners, Bristel, played the fiddle. Katniss was starting to get more and more nervous. She was going to lose her virginity, and while she didn’t think it had any moral value, it had kept her safe. She couldn’t get pregnant, or at least Katniss hadn’t thought she could. Then again, if she was supposed to be pregnant, she didn’t dare get pregnant for real. Such a thing hadn’t struck her until that moment. Perhaps she might use it as an excuse. 

By the time the bakery had emptied of all but our families, she felt like throwing up. Mrs. Mellark gave her a chilly goodnight and went to bed. She had said all of three words to Katniss since Peeta formally introduced them. 

Peeta’s brothers had been present more, and Katniss found that she liked them. The one her age, Leaven, was quiet and calm. He was apparently his mother’s favorite. He was engaged to Delly Cartwright. The youngest, Rye, was different. He was the wildest of the whole lot. She had heard rumors of him and his Slag Heap conquests. Peeta had talked about the trials of controlling him and keeping him out of trouble. Still, she could see a certain charm in his rugged good looks and smile. Katniss noticed he seemed to avoid her and her family and wondered if he disapproved of his brother’s marriage. Rye seemed on edge constantly as he shifted uneasily in his chair and went to bed early. Katniss couldn’t understand why he was so upset. Surely his brother’s marriage was not that distressing. 

Katniss’s mother pulled her aside and handed her a small package, “Take this every morning and it should help. It’s not perfect, but it might be enough if you’re careful.”

Katniss nodded. “Thank you.”

“No, thank you. You’ve been so brave, Katniss. You shouldn’t have had to do this. You should be happy right now.” 

“I’m not unhappy. I meant what I said about Peeta.” 

When Katniss came back into the kitchen, it was deserted. She supposed Peeta had gone upstairs. Katniss carefully made her way up the stairs, feeling the gnawing fear settle back in again. The tea was supposed to help prevent pregnancy, but it was far from perfect. That’s probably why Prim was pregnant. Her mother knew that. She also knew Katniss didn’t really have control over this.

“I’m sorry I don’t have another room for you, but I do have a sofa here I can sleep on. Or I could go downstairs.” Katniss started and turned around to see Peeta standing in the doorway. She blinked at him trying to understand his words. The couch? 

“You aren’t going to sleep in the bed?” she asked. 

“I’m not going to have you sleep on the couch.” Peeta said, as if it was the most obvious thing in the world. 

Katniss didn’t say anything. She wasn’t sure what to say. Peeta glanced at the package of tea, and she said, “My mother gave me this. It’s to prevent…me from getting pregnant.”

Peeta’s face turned beet red. He stammered, “But that won’t be necessary. At least…not…I’m totally messing this up. What I mean is that I don’t have any expectations about that sort of thing. I don’t think you look ready, and …”

She placed the tea in a drawer and turned back to him, “We’re married. Why wouldn’t you have expectations? There’s nothing I can say about it. So I won’t. It would be easier to say that I said yes.” 

“Katniss,” he began, reaching out to take her hand, “I will never touch you unless it’s clear that you want me to. I don’t own you, no matter what the Capitol says.”

She closed her eyes and said brokenly, “It’s just that sometimes it feels like our whole existence is to be a womb for babies. It feels like you don’t belong to yourself. When you get married you sign away everything.”

“You haven’t. Not to me. You’re a free and independent person.” 

Katniss believed him. She didn’t know why, but she suddenly felt like she believed him. If he wanted to hurt her, he would have. He wasn’t going to. The relief made her almost giddy. Prim would be safe. She would be safe. They wouldn’t starve, and he really did love her. It was nice to be loved. It had been a long time since anyone had just loved her or made any effort to take care of her. She loved being independent but sometimes it got a little lonely. Sharing her burden wouldn’t be easy but maybe it would be worth it. 

“You can sleep in the bed. I don’t mind. I’m not afraid of you.” Katniss murmured as she took her nightgown and headed for the bathroom.

She slipped into bed a few minutes later. It was a cold night, and the bed already felt warm. She was surprised to notice that the window was cracked open. That must be one of Peeta’s quirks. She closed her eyes. She was so tired. Perhaps she might sleep.

Katniss awoke the next morning pressed against a warm body that was definitely not Prim’s. When they’d been standing, she hadn’t realized how much bigger than her Peeta was. Now she felt dwarfed in comparison. Surprisingly it didn’t make her nervous. She knew he was trustworthy. It felt nice to be so close to him. Katniss remembered Prim’s words and smiled. Prim had been right. Even though Katniss was just innocently sleeping next to him, she liked it. She pressed her face against his chest and let herself relax for a few moments. It was still early. 

“Good morning.” Peeta looked at her shyly as she sat up and stretched. “You can sleep in. We have the day off.”

Katniss hesitated and said, “I should get up and work.”

“You don’t need to. Besides it wouldn’t do to wake up too early this morning,” he replied.

“Why?” Katniss asked, before blushing and remembering. She was married now, and last night had been her wedding night. She was supposed to be lying in bed. Well, she wasn’t going to complain about getting a little extra sleep.

When she woke up again, the sun streamed through the bedroom window, and she sprang up at the lateness of the hour. She dressed rapidly and went downstairs. Peeta and his brothers were eating breakfast. Peeta looked up.

“I was going to bring you some,” he said. “You were sleeping so soundly I didn’t want to wake you up.”

Katniss sat down in the empty seat and accepted the toast with jam. She was surprised to notice that the offerings on the table were none too plentiful. Perhaps the bakery was not as wealthy as she had thought. It gave her a sense of satisfaction that tomorrow she could make sure that the table had game and vegetables. 

The table was almost entirely silent. Katniss wasn’t a talker, but even she found it a little oppressive. Peeta seemed nervous and kept casting anxious glances around. Leaven seemed quiet anyway. Rye looked bloodshot and alarmed, seeming to start at every sound. 

“My mother wanted to talk to you. She’s not feeling well today.” Peeta said at last. Katniss straightened her shoulders and forced herself not to tremble. She wasn’t going to let Mrs. Mellark intimidate her.

“Well, look who decided to show up.” Mrs. Mellark greeted her as she stood in the center of the room. 

“I slept in.” Katniss replied. “I don’t normally. I get up well before dawn.”

“Good. You never struck me as being lazy. I slept better than I expected last night. It was quiet.” The older woman glanced at Katniss with those faded but still piercing blue eyes. Katniss flushed slightly because she felt as if Mrs. Mellark was already making judgements about her. 

“You aren’t pregnant, are you? Not by my son, at least. It’s that sister of yours, isn’t it? She looked peaked through the whole toasting.” Katniss looked down knowing it was useless to try to deny it. Mrs. Mellark was nothing if not observant.

“Yes, Prim is pregnant.” Katniss admitted.

“Who is the father?” 

“I don’t know. Prim won’t tell me, but I think he’s a merchant.” Katniss sat down at last in the chair by the bed. 

“Well, then the child will look like us.” Mrs. Mellark said thoughtfully. Her eyes fixed on the door as she added. “I don’t like you. I think you and your family are low class and dirty. But you’re a survivor, I’ll give you that. Haven’t seen such a one since old Haymitch Abernathy won his games.”

Katniss wasn’t sure if she should be ashamed or complimented to be compared to Haymitch Abernathy, the victor of the last Hunger Games and the district drunk. 

“And you are a cruel old woman who beats her kids.” Katniss snapped back.

Mrs. Mellark had the audacity to laugh, “Those boys would have ended up like their father if I hadn’t taught them some discipline. They would have been weak, and I think you and I both know what happens to weak people. Imagine if I had responded like your mother when my husband died. Imagine if I had lost it when I started getting sick.”

“My mother never beat me, and I’m not weak.” Katniss thought of her struggle for survival.

“I’m dying,” said Mrs. Mellark.

Katniss glanced at the woman and suddenly noticed that she really did look ill. Her face was unnaturally pale and drawn, and she appeared thin for a merchant woman. “Don’t look so pleased. I’m sure I won’t be mourned. That’s not worrying me. I want to see this family business continue, and you and your sister’s child will help that. Leaven will be working at the shoe shop, and Rye is completely useless. I depend on Peeta. He’s the only one who cares about baking. That child can be depended on to carry on the family tradition.”

“Does Peeta know?” Katniss asked. Did he know his mother was dying?

“No, and you aren’t going to tell him either. I’m not going to be fussed over or have people expect me to be sorry for anything. I’m not sorry. I did what I had to do.” Mrs. Mellark glanced at Katniss and added, “He’s crazy about you. I don’t understand why. You’re small and not particularly pretty, but I want that child in this family and I’m willing to put up with you.”

Katniss didn’t know what to say to Mrs. Mellark. She had to admit the woman was almost as unrepentant as the former President of Panem, President Snow, who had been executed after the war. Katniss could find little pity for the woman mainly because Mrs. Mellark wanted for nothing. 

The days of married life seemed exactly like her old life, except she lived in the bakery instead of her home in the Seam. She got up and helped make breakfast before carrying it to Mrs. Mellark, who ordered her to do many things downstairs, knowing full well Katniss had no intention of doing anything she said. She, Peeta and his brothers ate breakfast together before Katniss helped with the morning rush of baking. She was no baker, but she helped wash dishes and completed simple tasks. Around mid-morning she’d go hunting and come back in mid afternoon to help close up the bakery. Every evening she would spend with Prim, Peeta, and sometimes Leaven, who would quietly read one of those District 13 books about something called socialism. Rye never stayed for any of them. Katniss got the distinct impression he disliked her and Prim. Peeta would sketch out designs for cakes and began helping Katniss add to the plant book. As the days went on, Katniss began to feel as if she had always lived with Peeta. He had such a warm, sunny disposition that it was like she was a flower and he the sun. She couldn’t help but like him. 

Prim had stopped throwing up everyday and looked radiant. Katniss might not approve of her being pregnant, but she knew her sister would be a wonderful mother. Much better than Katniss. Katniss still found Rye’s behavior confusing. She caught him arguing with Prim a few times which made her frown. Prim was a very easy-going person and it was hard to imagine Prim doing anything to make him that mad. Prim tried to hide her sadness over her lover deserting her but Katniss could see the wistful glance in her eyes as Peeta patted Katniss’s hand or gave her a quick hug. Katniss would have done anything to put the light back into her sister’s eye. 

Peeta stayed true to his word and had barely touched her since their wedding. Except for the occasional pat on the shoulder or gentle hug, he had kept his hands to himself. Katniss suspected he was waiting for her to make the move. After her initial suspicion had passed, she found herself wanting…something. She started making excuses to stand close to him and rolled her body close to his in bed at night. Finally one night it all bubbled up. He had just added the flowers to the side of the crib for Prim’s baby.

“You’ll be an amazing aunt.” Peeta said softly.

“You’ll be an amazing father.” Katniss replied. This baby might be Prim’s, but her father would definitely be Peeta, considering the child would know no other. She was so lucky. Katniss rose on her tip-toes and pressed her lips to his in their first real kiss.

It wasn’t her first kiss. There had been an awkward kiss with Gale when she had been sixteen. For months she had tried to forget that it happened. There had been the occasional kiss at New Years with some boy she didn’t care about. But this was the first kiss she had felt that thing…That warm, hungry feeling that started in the pit of her stomach and moved its way through her limbs. She pressed closer as his arms came around her waist. They kissed until they ran out of air, but still she didn’t let go. 

He rested his face in the crook of her neck and she could feel the warmth of his breath against her skin. It felt so good, so impossibly good, that she was certain she wouldn’t be the first to let go.

Prim ended up interrupting them with a question about the crib, and they broke apart. Katniss flushed and stammered through an explanation. Prim only grinned and left the room with a significant lifting of her eyebrows. Katniss only gave a tiny smile as she went to bed. Somehow she felt at peace for the first time in a long time.


	2. Part 2

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Note the trigger warnings. I tried to make it as non-triggering as possible but the situation itself is very disturbing. I have never been sexually assaulted although I have faced sexual harassment. Also, there is very severe homophobia in this universe. I based this off of various posts I’ve seen about how Panem treats the LBGTQ community especially the headcanon that District 13 is very homophobic. We know in canon they were extremely focused on fertility and likely heterosexual relationships. They would likely view gay relationships as a waste of resources and pro-Capitol (Because the Capitol always seemed fairly accepting of the LBGTQ community at least within the Capitol itself.) I use the term “homosexual” despite its offensive connotations because it seems like the type of pseudoscientific word that District 13 would use. My characters don’t agree with the treatment of the LBGTQ community nor do I. (Obviously this is horrible and I really hope that I am not playing into negative stereotypes about futures.) Yeah, this place is pretty damn horrifying. And as usual there is implied racism but that is more localized. I don’t see District 13 as a, particularly racist place.

Katniss ought to have known the peace wouldn’t last. Prim was five months pregnant when the baby began to move. She squealed and said, “Katniss, feel this.”

Katniss rushed over and pressed her hand against her sister’s stomach. A few minutes passed with no movement, and then she gasped at the distinctive feeling of the baby shifting around. 

Rye was home that night, and it was the first time he had been home while Prim was still visiting. For some reason Katniss thought he disliked her sister. But at the outburst from Prim he dropped the newspaper he had been pretending to read and stood up. 

“I won’t do this anymore,” he said. “I don’t care what Mom says.” 

Katniss stared at his retreating form and then glanced around the room. Peeta’s face turned concerned as they could hear the sound of raised voices upstairs. Mrs. Mellark had been gradually failing, but she clearly hadn’t lost use of her lungs. Prim had a strange look on her face. She looked almost…proud.

Then it all hit Katniss. How could she have been so stupid? Of course, Rye was the father of Prim’s baby. That’s why Mrs. Mellark had been so willing to see Katniss marry Peeta. That’s why everyone had been so accommodating. Clearly Rye’s prospects of finding a merchant wife were better than Peeta’s, and so they had cooked up this whole scheme to protect him. Katniss felt the pain of betrayal hit her hard. She had thought Peeta had done it because he hadn’t wanted to see her go to the Community Home and because he said he loved her. But it hadn’t been that at all. He had just been following his mother’s orders. What else had he lied about?

“Prim, is Rye the father?” Prim tried to deny it, but she’d never been a particularly good liar. Her face crumpled, and she started sobbing, “Oh Katniss, I wanted to tell you, but I was afraid his mother would kill him or something!”

“It’s not your fault,” Katniss replied automatically, like she always did with Prim. There were few limits to what she would do for her sister. “I’m just glad the baby is doing well.”

Leaven came back into the room and said Mrs. Mellark wanted to see Prim. Prim walked tremblingly up the stairs, and Katniss had to resist the urge to follow. For some reason she trusted Leaven to protect her sister, and she doubted Mrs. Mellark would be able to physically attack her pregnant sister. Something told her Prim’s merchant looks would be more appealing to Mrs. Mellark than Katniss’s Seam looks. 

“Why didn’t you tell me?” Katniss turned on Peeta and disguised the pain she felt with a sudden rush of anger. 

“I didn’t know. Not when you came to me. I had a suspicion. I caught them kissing once behind the bakery, but I had thought your sister was dating the Hawthorne boy. That night Rye confessed. I did what I have always done. I had to protect my brother. Just like you protected your sister.” 

“So you married me so Rye could be free.” Katniss fought the tears that wanted to fall by biting her lip and glaring at him.

“No… I wanted to marry you. But I didn’t want to marry you like this. I wanted it to be real.” His voice sounded so sad that she felt a little relenting in her heart. Then she remembered how he had kept something so important from her. 

“Well, good luck with that when you lie to me. I thought this was my only option. I was happy on my own before…” Katniss turned away, and this time the tears did fall. It was a lie, of course. She had been reasonably content, but Peeta had made her happy. She wasn’t going to give him that power, though.

She ran up the stairs and pushed open Mrs. Mellark’s bedroom door the precise moment Rye was clearly saying: 

“I’m marrying Prim tomorrow and we’ll move to the Seam. I’ll get a job in the coal mines, but so help me I’m taking care of my girl and my baby. I’m not going to have that child grow up not knowing his real parents. I thought I could handle it until I saw what it was like to have the baby move.”

Mrs. Mellark glanced at her son and then at Prim, “You’ll not move to the Seam. Or get a job in the coal mines. No son of mine will ever work there. You’ll stay here. It could be worse I guess. You’re a pretty thing, and most people will forget you’re from the Seam.”

Katniss saw that Mrs. Mellark’s pride had ended up being in Rye and Prim’s favor. The woman was unwilling to see her son live in the Seam, no matter how much she might dislike his bride. Then the woman’s eye found her. “So did you know about this?”

“No,” Katniss replied shortly. “Things would have been different if I had.”

“Well, that certainly poses a problem. You signed those papers that you were pregnant. You’ll be having a visit from Thread and Cray. Unless you are pregnant?” Mrs. Mellark glanced at her stomach. Katniss shook her head. 

The Peacekeepers, with a doctor in tow, visited women who were pregnant to enforce the laws against any type of behavior that could lead to miscarriage. They also inspected women randomly. There were horror stories about the “examinations” Cray had forced on women. Katniss shuddered. 

Katniss went to Peeta’s room and changed into her nightgown. She glanced around the room and, for the first time since her wedding night, regretted their sleeping arrangements. Her resentment against the whole Mellark family grew as she realized that she would have to pay the penalty for everyone else’s lies. She would be the one facing Cray’s “inspections” and abuse. 

The next morning Katniss went home with Prim to stay for a few days and prepare for the wedding. At least, that was the reason she gave everyone. In reality it was because she wanted to get away from them. After her sister went to bed Katniss told her mother the whole story.

“Oh Katniss,” her mother reached out and took her hand. “If only I had known.”

“I can’t believe he didn’t tell me. I would have done the same thing as I did, but I would have also pressured Rye to marry Prim. They do love each other, and it’s better for the baby. Peeta only married me because he was ashamed of his brother marrying a Seam woman.” 

“I don’t think so. Why would he have married you? I think he just wanted to protect his brother from his mother. You must remember: she hadn’t told anyone about her illness. Merle Mellark is on her death bed and she knows it.”

Katniss hesitated, as she thought over her mother’s reasoning. The only thing she could think of was that Peeta was willing to bear the shame of marrying someone like her but didn’t want his brother to go through the scandal. Then again she knew her new mother-in-law well enough to know that if anyone crossed her they quickly regretted it. 

She was still so angry at Peeta and his family regardless of the reason. She helped Prim with her wedding as she tried to stuff down her resentment. She wasn’t very successful, but Prim was so radiantly happy at her marriage that she didn’t even notice how Katniss felt. Katniss didn’t blame her sister. She was marrying the boy she loved.

“Oh Katniss, you must get pregnant soon. Think of it. Our children will be only months apart.” Prim smiled and added, “I don’t think that will be too hard. I saw that very close hug you two had.”

Katniss winced and said sharply, “I’m not planning to get pregnant any time soon.”

“But what will you tell Thread?” Prim asked, suddenly alarmed.

“I had a miscarriage. It’s not uncommon.” Katniss replied. 

“Oh Katniss please be careful.” Prim said. “But as long as he can tell you’ve been trying I suppose it’s all right.”

Katniss didn’t tell her sister that she was still a virgin. She wasn’t sure if the medical tests would be able to tell since her mother had indicated that proofs of virginity were notoriously flawed. With all the hunting Katniss had done more than likely any proof was long gone. But it was a risk she would have to take.

The wedding went off without a hitch. Mrs. Mellark wasn’t well enough to come down so they had the toasting in her room under her watchful blue eyes. Prim had to wear an old dress of Mrs. Everdeen’s that she had worn when she carried Katniss and Prim. It was an pale pink cotton with tiny yellow flowers printed on it. Her stomach was growing larger by the day. Prim looked radiantly happy and glowing, and Rye actually smiled for the first time in what seemed like forever. While Katniss was genuinely glad for her sister, her joy didn’t help the ache in her own heart. 

“Katniss, please, I’m sorry I didn’t tell you.” Peeta’s face looked desperate as he held her hand that night. 

“I just want to know why you didn’t tell me.” Katniss looked up at him.

“Because I didn’t want my brother to get attacked by mom. She didn’t care so much who I married. I was never her favorite son. I’ve always taken care of him. I was afraid you would try talking to her or to Rye, and she’d end up taking out on everyone.”

Katniss sighed. She understood the urge to protect younger siblings. “I get that. I probably would have done that. But now I’m in trouble. Cray’s going to come out, and when I’m not pregnant…” 

“Tell him you lost the baby.” Peeta said. Katniss nodded. 

Things weren’t all right between them, but at least Katniss didn’t feel like throwing a hive of Tracker Jackers over him. She lay down but fought back the terror as she contemplated what might happen. Her only hope lay in lying to Cray over the baby. She tried to hide her discomfort from both Peeta and Prim. Prim was fairly easy to deceive since she was a newly wed with a baby on the way. Katniss tried not to think about what must be going on behind closed doors with her sister and her new husband. As much as it might bother her that Prim was old enough to be married she was glad Prim was spared the horror of the examination. Peeta was harder to deceive. He wasn’t distracted by newly wedded bliss and he could see through Katniss with stunning clarity. He didn’t know that Katniss’s hunting trips had been strictly business or that she had never frequented the Slag Heap. Katniss knew most people thought she was a wild woman who had sex in the woods without a care in the world. Peeta knew she wasn’t doing that now but he must have thought she had done something in her past. Katniss hoped her “reputation” gave her something to use when Cray came. 

Thread and Cray came two weeks later. Katniss let them into the bakery, which was nearly deserted. Peeta and his brothers were at the train station picking up supplies, and Mrs. Mellark was upstairs. Prim was with her mother. For the first time in her life, Katniss wished Mrs. Mellark was up and around. Somehow she suspected the woman wouldn’t be afraid to take on Thread. Then again the woman would have probably fought Katniss more if she wasn’t dying.

“How may I help you?” She asked calmly as the panic fought its way to the surface.

“I understand you are pregnant, Mrs. Mellark?” Thread said as he sat down at the kitchen table.

“I was, sir, but I lost the baby.” Katniss forced herself to speak. She was so genuinely terrified she thought she did a passable job of being grief stricken.

“I understand your sister is also pregnant. And both of you seem to have conceived around the same time. How coincidental…” Thread’s voice trailed off.

“Yes… it was.” Katniss replied. “She’s luckier than I.”

“Mrs. Mellark, I’m sure you won’t mind a short medical examination with Dr. Cray here. We just want to make sure you are physically able to bear a child. You must understand the desperate need our country has for healthy children.” Thread’s eyes narrowed as Katniss stood there. She took a deep breath. An examination. The horror of all women in District 12. 

“Is that really necessary? I don’t like the idea of someone apart from my husband seeing me.” Katniss thought it sounded logical.

“Oh well, I’m a doctor, Mrs. Mellark. I don’t count.” Cray’s eyes filtered over her figure making her skin crawl. Thread gave an imperceptible nod to his companion. 

“Take me upstairs, Mrs. Mellark. It will only take a few minutes. Peacekeeper Thread here will be right outside the door to make sure everything is safe.” Cray’s promise sounded more like a threat, and Katniss had no choice but to do what he asked. She had no recourse. She had no weapons on her, and even if she had her bow, Katniss knew Thread’s gun would kill her long before the arrow was strung. 

“Now Mrs. Mellark, why are you so nervous? You almost remind me of a virgin. Surely a married woman like you shouldn’t be this uncomfortable.” Cray’s eyes fixed on her face as he sat her down on the bed. Katniss couldn’t bear the idea that this was the bed she slept in. With Peeta. Oh Peeta, I’m sorry. 

“I don’t like the idea of a strange man touching me.” Katniss snapped back.

She put on the faded and stained medical gown and lay back on the bed. She was bare beneath it. At first it did seem like a normal medical exam. Her mother performed them often. Katniss wouldn’t have minded if her mother had done this. Cray’s examination only lasted a few minutes. She started to breath a sigh of relief. Maybe he was fooled. 

“Well, Mrs. Mellark, it seems that your hymen is not intact but your vaginal walls are extremely tight, making me think you don’t engage in sexual activity frequently. Then again you are a small woman. I also found no evidence of a recent pregnancy.” Cray’s voice sounded professional but Katniss heard the threat in his voice. 

“I was sure I was pregnant. I lost my period and felt sick. Perhaps I was mistaken.” Katniss felt nausea well up in her stomach. 

Cray reached out and touched her thigh. “Or maybe your husband isn’t doing a good job. Tell me, has he ever even touched you?”

Katniss tried to pull away, but his grip on her body was surprisingly strong and he glanced significantly at the door where Thread was posted. “Of course he has.”

“Well, it sure doesn’t look like it. Tell me, is he a homosexual? Is that why he hasn’t touched you?” Crays leering voice was in her ear now, “I assure you there are others far better at showing you a good time. And getting you pregnant.”

“No, of course not.” Katniss knew of District 13’s hatred of people they deemed “homosexuals”. People had been killed or forced into prisons where they came home scarred and broken shells of their former selves. Nobody willingly admitted to being homesexual. People had even been accused without proof. Katniss realized she had been spared the accusation by her close friendship with Gale. Otherwise her outspoken dislike of marriage and children would have probably made her a potential target. Cray was just trying to get her. He had no proof of Peeta being one. He was only trying to frighten her. 

“Well, Mrs. Mellark, I have to remind you that homosexuality is treatable with proper care. If you have any evidence of your husband being a homosexual, I will have to know. I assure you that he will be taken care of and returned safely to you.” Cray’s hand moved up her thigh. Katniss fought back a scream.

“He’s not.” She gasped out. 

“Well, then maybe you are. Maybe this whole thing was you hiding…You certainly seem a frigid bitch.” Cray’s hand slipped higher. Katniss shook her head. She felt like throwing up. 

“Katniss.” She could hear Peeta’s voice outside the door. She got the courage to move away from Cray. 

“Are you ok?” He sounded frantic. 

Katniss turned to Cray and said, “Are you done, Doctor? I assure you that neither my husband or I are homosexuals. As for the pregnancy, I was mistaken. I must have had the flu.”

Cray turned to her and said, “Well, we’ll go now, but if you haven’t fixed your little problem I’m sure I can help you.”

Katniss shuddered as he opened the door. Peeta and Thread were standing there. Cray said smoothly, “Well, Mr. Mellark, I’m sure that you will be glad to know that your wife is in good health. No evidence of any abnormalities. I see no reason for any fertility issues. You’ll just have to be patient.”

Thread noticed how Peeta’s face tightened and how he looked about ready to attack Cray. It was the look his face got before wresting matches. Thread seemed to notice because he said, “Come on, Dr. Cray. We have a few other people to see.”

“I’ll be back in a few months to make sure that you are following the treatment I proposed.” Dr. Cray stared at Katniss for a few seconds before turning and walking down the stairs. Katniss waited until she heard the door click below; then, she pushed Peeta aside and flew to the bathroom, barely making it before she lost everything she had eaten all day. Her skin still seemed to crawl and her body felt as it was trying to expel her stomach. 

She was vaguely aware of Peeta wetting a wash cloth and laying it against her forehead. She sat up and let him finish washing her face. She still couldn’t stop shaking, but she let out a shuddering sigh when he pulled her close. It had to be her fault. What could she have done? Perhaps if she had lied more convincingly they wouldn’t have examined her?

“Katniss, what happened? I came home to find them there. You’re scaring me.” He rubbed her back and she felt the tears start to fall. 

“I can’t…” Katniss couldn’t stop them now that they wanted to come. 

“Ok. Just answer me this. Did he touch you?” She could feel the tension in his body even though he kept his voice calm.

“Yes, but not…” Katniss tried to explain but saying the words made it all seem real. She hoped he understood without her getting more explicit. 

“Please, you have to promise me you won’t do anything. Promise me that. Ok…It will just hurt us all.” Katniss lifted her head and looked into his eyes. They had grown icy cold and almost scary in their intensity.

“I…That man. What he did…” Peeta glanced down at her and then said, “I shouldn’t have left. I should have stayed with you. If I had stayed, they wouldn’t have been able to do that.”

“It’s not your fault. And you know what would happen if you did anything against Cray.” Katniss knew how the whole family would be punished in horrible ways. 

“I know. I won’t do anything. I promise for your sake.”

After what seemed like hours, he pulled her up and carried her into the room they called the nursery. It was really just a storage closet. “I’m going to get Rye and Prim to switch rooms with us. It will be better anyway since it’s closer to the nursery and farther away from mom.”

“Thank you.” Katniss laid down on the blankets he had laid out for her. “Don’t be gone too long. Please?”

“It won’t take long.” He promised.

Katniss lay down again and stared at the wall that seemed to glow in the late afternoon sun. She remembered how warm and wonderful she had felt in this room kissing her husband. The sense of pleasure she had experienced hadn’t lessened. She had known then that somehow this would have happened anyway. But now all she could remember was the way it had felt to be touched without permission and helpless she had been. The worst of it had been the fact that there had been nothing she could have done. Even if she had been armed, the Capitol would have been sure to retaliate for killing a Peacekeeper. 

“I moved all our things into the other room.” Peeta came back into the room and knelt beside her on the floor. 

“Thank you.” Katniss whispered. “I’m sorry I’m being silly…”

“You’re not silly. You’re so damn strong. All the things you’ve done. Taking care of Prim. Marrying me. I love you so much. I just can’t handle what they’ve done to you.” Katniss could feel his shoulders shaking and the warm, wetness of tears. 

After awhile she said softly, “ I better tell you what he said. He told me that…I…ugh I…I can’t say it. It’s so humiliating…”

“You don’t have to tell me.”

“I do. He knew I was still a virgin. And then he started to accuse you of being a homosexual. When I denied it, he said maybe I was the one. That’s when he kept touching me. And saying that if…if I wanted someone to help me… I should go to him…”

“ Shit. That means he’ll come back. Or…” Peeta shook his head looking more and more disturbed by the second.

“Or he’ll have one of us taken to the hospital for “treatment”.” Katniss finished. They called it hijacking. Nobody survived hijacking. They were broken messes of people afterwards. 

“That won’t happen. I won’t let that happen.”

“No you won’t. Listen, this would have happened. We just got sidetracked with finding out about Rye. It’ll be fine. We’ll just do what they want. And maybe…” Katniss took a deep breath and tried to say the rest. “I really liked kissing you.”

A touch of a smile hit his lips, but his face looked just as distraught as before, “Ok. But promise me that you’ll tell me if anything makes you uncomfortable.”

“I’ll be fine,” Katniss murmured. She wanted to kiss him to try to wash away the horrible feel of that man’s hands on her. She wanted to regain some control of her body. She leaned forward until her lips touched his. It was a different kind of kiss. Soft, gentle and tender. 

“Can you eat something?” Peeta asked when she pulled away. Katniss nodded suddenly aware of how depleted her body felt. 

He made her cheese buns, an unimaginable luxury for her, and sat there watching her eat them. Prim came home, and Katniss did her best to hide what happened from her sister. Fortunately just talking about Thread and Cray’s visit was enough to explain Katniss’s distress. Prim’s face grew more and more alarmed.

“I’m sorry. It’s my fault. I should have gone to the home.” 

“No, it’s not your fault. It’ll be ok. I’ll get pregnant soon, and then he won’t have anything to use against me.” Katniss couldn’t bear the idea of Prim being the one to face this abuse. Better her than her sister. 

Prim seemed to have faced the enormity of what her sister had faced to protect her. She stopped crying but kept glancing at Katniss. When Peeta left to take care of something in the bakery she whispered, “Is Peeta treating you right? Are you…happy?”

Happy? Katniss didn’t know the meaning of the word, but she had felt brief flashes of it. Certainly she had to admit Peeta made her happier. He gave her a sense of peace and serenity. He offered her the support she needed. He was like the dandelion she had picked long ago after he had given her the bread. “Yeah, he does.”

Things seemed to change between them after that day. Katniss woke up nearly every night fighting nightmares about Cray and his horrible threats. But every time she woke up screaming Peeta was there to sooth her and remind her that it was just a nightmare. She couldn’t imagine sleeping alone anymore. They started kissing a lot too. Gentle kisses that meant comfort and safety. Quick kisses that meant familiarity. And the kind of kiss Katniss was becoming increasingly accustomed to. The passionate, soul searching, knee weakening kiss that made her head spin. Once they started, it seemed to escalate all on its own. The only problem was that there were always people around in a crowded house. On nice days they would spend the evening in the meadow lying on the grass and looking up at the sky.

One night they were lying on the grass watching the sunset when he said, “I wish I could freeze this moment in time and live in it forever.”

Katniss had her head in his lap weaving a flower crown. Her hair was unbound because he had taken a liking to playing with it. It didn’t bother her since she could braid it quickly back into neatness before going home. “I’ll allow it.” 

She sat up rapidly and flung the flowers aside before diving in and pressing her lips to his. Almost immediately she realized that this was one of “those” kisses. She loved how the heat seemed to grow and expand within her, but she hated how she was always left wanting. They were extremely careful to avoid anything that might cause her to get the panic to come back. Once he had laid his hand on her thigh and she had freaked out. He always let her control their encounters. She appreciated the tenderness he always showed her. 

Katniss shifted until she was practically sitting in his lap. She couldn’t suppress a tiny smile at how absolutely wonderful she felt at this very moment. She let out a tiny squeak when he pressed a kiss against the sensitive skin of her neck. Hearing her reaction, he continued trailing kisses against her neck until he reached a spot right below her ear that made her moan. “Keep doing that and I’ll really allow it.” She murmured.

“Hmm…good to know.” She could hear the laughter in his tone. It was nice that they could laugh even now. Her inexperience didn’t feel quite so insurmountable when they didn’t take things so seriously. She decided that she was going to take a step forward. Taking a deep breath, she took his hand and pressed it against her breast. “You can touch me…here.”

It took a bit of exploring to figure everything out. She discovered that she was ticklish right under her ribs which she suspected he would use to his advantage some time when they weren’t feeling all this pleasure. She unbuttoned her plain blouse, hoping nobody was around to see. The meadow was always deserted, but it still made her nervous. Her equally plain bra hid her tiny breasts. She knew that compared to the town girls’ breasts, they were unimpressive, and she hoped Peeta wouldn’t be disappointed. 

Peeta fixed his eyes on her face as if he was afraid she would be angry if he looked down. Katniss learned forward and kissed him again to cover up her embarrassment at being so exposed. He reached out a hand and touched her so gently she relaxed against him. There was absolutely nothing to be afraid of. She smiled again and nodded slightly. He gained confidence and began putting those kneading skills to good use. Katniss couldn’t suppress the soft gasping moans that passed her lips. When he started using both lips and his hands in combination, she cried out softly, “Ohhh.”

Her body was rushing towards something she had experienced before by herself, but it felt very different when it wasn’t a simple case of relieving a vague bodily need. Somehow she knew this wouldn’t be enough. He lifted his head and whispered, “Can I touch you?”

Then the memories came hurtling back. The examination. Her stomach tightened. The idea of anyone’s fingers touching her between her legs made her nervous. Her breasts were fine since Cray hadn’t touched her there. “I… I don’t know.”

She saw the sadness fill his eyes. The warm feeling was slowly dissipating with the memories. She didn’t want to lose it. “Can we try something else?”

“Would it be ok if you…ah… touch yourself?” he asked.

Katniss considered and then nodded. “I think so.”

It seemed to do the trick. Katniss wasn’t afraid when her own hand slipped between the layers of her pants. She was in control. She pushed aside the disappointment at how even now her life had been damaged by what had happened. At least this was familiar though it felt so different. Soon though, there was absolutely nothing to think about besides the coiling inside of her body and the sensation of his tongue sliding across her tight bud. And then it happened. The coil broke, and she cried out as warm wave of pleasure washed over her. 

“Was that ok?” he asked and she almost laughed. Who asked that sort of question when it was clear it had been way more than ok? Instead she only nodded and took a second to catch her breath.

“Of course it was, silly.” She whispered as she started to reach for the button on his pants. He made a noise of protest, but she added, “I want to.”

It was true that she had absolutely no fear trying to give him the same kind of feeling she had experienced. But she still flushed because while she had seen her share of naked men because of her mother’s healing she hadn’t been in this situation before. He helped her to figure out the movements and she felt a surge of triumph at the way he seemed to lose control. She didn’t know what she was doing, but whatever she was doing seemed to be doing the trick. She tried following certain cues, repeating what made him groan. 

Afterwards she wiped her hands on the grass and curled up beside him against the tree. It was growing late, and she knew they ought to go home, but she didn’t want to. She was afraid that once she went back into the place where everything had happened, she would be scared again. 

As the days passed Katniss found her life changing in more ways than one. Prim was getting bigger by the day and was perpetually cranky due to her lack of mobility. Mrs. Mellark was not interested as she swore the baby was a boy due to the way that Prim carried the baby. Katniss’s mom said that was something of a myth but Mrs. Mellark wouldn’t have cared. Her health had seemingly rallied after Katniss had found a combination of roots that limited her pain and gave her energy. The woman had resumed coming downstairs to boss her children around. She seemed to have a certain grudging respect for Katniss although she still hated her. Prim was merchant looking enough to be accepted with half-hearted approval, but she still treated Peeta and Rye as if they were the dust off of her feet. Katniss hated that but realized she couldn’t do anything. There was nothing she could do to make the woman start acting like a mother. 

On the bright side, almost every night she and Peeta explored each other’s bodies under cover of darkness. She started to understand things about herself and him that she had never really thought of. It was a wanton, completely useless kind of pleasure that would neither help them with the situation of Cray or get her pregnant. But it didn’t matter. She learned to crave the sensation of heat and hunger and the overpowering relief of release. The first time he asked to use his mouth on her she was hesitant. It wasn’t that she was scared exactly it was more that it was unfamiliar. She knew people did it all the time, she had heard girls at school talking, but it still seemed strange. But it felt so overpoweringly amazing she knew they had been right. She had to press a pillow against her face and nearly smother herself to keep the rest of the house from knowing exactly what they were up to. 

“Don’t be so smug.” Katniss tried scowling as she saw the wide smile tip his face as he pulled her closer and drew the sheet up higher. It wasn’t a very good attempt though.

“I’ll be smug when I make you scream sometime.” He replied with a smirk. Katniss raised her brows. He had gotten pretty bold, especially when talking dirty. She secretly liked it. 

“There are people in the house.” Katniss whispered. 

“I know. That’s why I’ll know I’ve succeeded.” Katniss glared at him. She knew he had a competitive streak. And the worst of it was she felt sure he would win the bet. 

One night not long after she said, “I’m ready.”

It was scary. Her memories of what had happened filtered through her mind. The awful man’s description of her body and his hands on her haunted her. Her mother had indicated that being nervous made things more painful, so she forced herself to take deep breaths. 

“Are you sure?” he whispered. She nodded. Then she pressed her lips to his in a kiss that said that she trusted him. And yes, she loved him. It seemed hard to remember a time when she didn’t. It had grown up and taken root inside of her so slowly she hadn’t realized until now exactly how much she loved him. 

Peeta was so gentle with her. She had wanted to hurry through this in her usual reckless way. It was far less frightening. But he kept slowing her movements down even while letting her set the pace. She glanced down into the blue eyes that looked so lovingly into her own and focused on the bond between them. Somehow she knew that in this moment he was just as much at her mercy as she was mentally to him. The anxiety was probably the worst. Certainly it was worse than the pain which wasn’t that bad and Katniss was no stranger to aches and pains anyway. The fear surfaced again and again, making her breath catch and causing her to lose her rhythm. She fought through it, focusing on his face and how much he meant to her. She knew that this time there was no way that she would come, but it didn’t matter. This moment was a huge victory. 

“Katniss… you’re so…beautiful,” he choked out. Katniss leaned down to kiss him. It had been a long time since she had thought herself beautiful. Maybe not since her father died. 

“Let go,” she murmured when she saw the telltale signs that he had reached the brink. The pleasure still lingered in her body, but she had to admit that this experience had been difficult. She believed that soon the anxiety would go away. Until it did, she intended to fight it for all she was worth. 

“Katniss, are you ok?” His eyes looked so sharply into her own that she knew she hadn’t fooled him. 

“Yes,” she replied. 

When he had a chance to catch his breath she said, “It was hard. I mean, after what happened I knew it would be difficult. But I’m glad I did it. And…”

“And what.” He asked. 

“I think I love you,” she replied. 

“What can I do to persuade you to know so?” Peeta grinned and took her hand under the covers.

“Keep being you,” she replied, “And I’m already there. I’m just not very good at talking.”

She glanced over to see the biggest smile on his face. She couldn’t help a small smile of her own as she snuggled closer. Maybe she was pregnant, even now. The idea of children scared her, but she also knew that any child of theirs would be well taken care of. It gave her a strange thrill to imagine that.

Prim’s baby was born on the day that had once been Reaping Day. It was now known as Independence Day. Little Bram Mellark was a healthy, extremely loud baby that took Prim a tremendous amount of pain to deliver. Katniss was desperately hoping her suspicions were wrong, and she wasn’t pregnant as she saw her sister in agony. When her nephew was born, Katniss knew that he held a special place in her heart, just like his mother. She hadn’t imagined loving anyone in quite the same way as Prim. But Prim’s little boy was worming himself into her heart at a rapid pace. The only person who was disappointed was Mrs. Mellark who had been hoping for a girl. 

Cray and Thread came back, but by the time they did Peeta was there, and he didn’t allow either of them a second alone with Katniss. Katniss wouldn’t have let him leave anyway. She was pretty sure she was pregnant. Her mother had examined her and said she was sure of it. A three minute test revealed that her suspicions were correct. She was producing yet another child to replace the terrible losses of life due to poverty, disease and the war in Panem. 

“Congratulations, Mrs. Mellark. It seems your efforts paid off.” Cray said stonily before taking his leave. Katniss kept her composure until he left and then collapsed in a heap to process the whole situation. 

“He’s not coming back.” She said at last. “And I’m pregnant.”

Peeta didn’t seem to know whether to be over the moon with joy over the baby or upset at having seen Cray’s face. Katniss wasn’t sure either. She decided that whatever she was feeling was acceptable. 

“Please, just stay with me.” It would be impossible to make it through the months of uncertainty and fear without him by her side.

“Always,” he promised.

Violet Mellark was born on a wet day in April. She proved to be far less boisterous than her cousin. The moment she opened her stunning blue eyes Katniss was entranced.

“She’s so beautiful.” Peeta whispered as he kissed her tiny cheek. Katniss positioned Violet so they were both holding her. Violet’s eyes were darker than her father’s and closer to a silvery violet color Katniss had never seen before. Her hair was the same Seam black, but her skin had only a faint olive tinge to it. 

Mrs. Mellark, who had been once again slowly failing, had seemed to hang on out of pure force of will. Once she saw her granddaughter, it seemed as if she was finally satisfied. Katniss actually saw a smile cross the woman’s stern face. She seemed almost satisfied with Katniss for finally breaking the line of boys and producing a girl. A girl with such beauty, too. 

Katniss sat by the window with the baby in her arms. Prim had just left the room to change Bram and put him to bed. The sunset was just ending. She looked down at Violet and said softly, “I guess someday I’ll have to tell you about how your parents met and got married. And how you were made. But just know that it’s worth it.”

And then she began to sing. The night came on but she didn’t look up to Peeta watching her with so much love and adoration. She was so focused on the subtle rise and fall of Violet’s chest. It would be ok.


End file.
